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Scared

I’m scared. My mind is in turmoil. I’m nervous. I’m stressed.
Thursday I go for surgery. I’m getting laser eye surgery done at the Gimbel Eye Centre. For the first time since grade 1 I’ll be able to see more than 6″ in front of my face clearly. It’s pretty scary. And it’s also very exciting. It opens up a whole new world of oppurtunities and possibilities to me. Things like applying to join the police force. Oppurtunites that could throw a wrench into previously made plans. So many pluses and minuses. I can play sports without worry, wrestle with friends, not have to spend my entire life worrying if I’m gonna bend or lose my glasses. Not haveing to fork out $500 everytime I want a new pair of glasses. So exciting. So stressful. What if something goes wrong? What if it doesn’t work and I go back to the way I am now. My doctor sounds pretty competent, she’s done lots of these. This is costing me $3400 for the both of them. It’s a gamble. 1.5% of cases have problems, so my odds are pretty good, but it’s still a risk. As surgery always is. And this isn’t even for the benefit of anyone but myself. Part of me feels like I’m being really selfish in getting it done. It is selfish.
I also start my new job on Monday. Another Millwright apprentice job. More money, more hours. The work will get boring, it’s just production work, but I figure as long as I stay until they put me through school next year, I’ll be fine. I’ll then be a 3rd year, and that opens up alot of choices.
Surgery is thursday at 2pm. 2-4 day recovery time, which should mean I will be alright to start my new job on Monday. Prayer would be welcome and appreciated.

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