I found out last week that I won’t be heading back to school. Well at least not anytime soon (5 years or so). We just can’t afford it. We found out what our monthly payments will be for Jo’s student loans, so it’s looking like my schooling isn’t going to happen. It has me kind of depressed but I’ve been thinking about it alot, and have come to the conclusion that it is okay. I’m going to apply to the Calgary Police Service. I’m pretty outta shape right now, but I figure by December I should be able to do the physical and submit my application. It’s a little pricey, $100 application fee, have to take my First Aid and CPR which is another $150, and the physical which is about $60. Though if I get a conditional offer of employment, they will reimburse those costs.
So I got a gym membership, and have been easing myself into it again. I haven’t hit the gym in over 2 years, so it’s taking a little bit to get back into it. Lots of pain, even when I take it easy. I’m really loving going again though, and having a goal makes it al worthwhile.
It still hits me occasionally that I won’t be going back, and it makes me a little sad. But I’ve come to the understanding that we can only control our own destiny so much. I’ve given my life over to God. I used my free-will and chose him. My life is in his hands, and the things that happen, happen for a reason. I might not understand it right now. Especially when I thought, “what better way to serve God, than by becoming a pastor.” But He has other plans. And I just keep plugging along. Making decisions and choices, hoping they lead in the right direction.