frustration · rant

One of God’s creatures my ass

So almost every morning round about 5am I am awoken by one of God’s wonderful creatures that sits in a tree in my neighbors yard and starts whistling. Now it isn’t pretty, or musical, or lovely. It is a two-tone whistle that is repeated every 2 seconds for usually over 30 minutes.

Now the first morning this happened I got so pissed off that I went and slept in the basement until it was time to get up at 7 (when my lovely wife came down and woke me up).

The next morning I dragged a fan into our bedroom hoping the white noise would be enough to drown it out. I was wrong, and laid in bed fuming until it shut up.
The following morning I went to find ear plugs, which I couldn’t, then went outside to find it and yell at it, throw rocks and sticks at it, whatever, but couldn’t find it. I was so tired I fell back asleep anyway. That night I dug through my stuff until I found some earplugs and put them beside my bed.

I now use those earplugs almost every morning, and have gotten quite adept at putting them in. I hear that fucking bird, I roll over, get them in in about 5 seconds, and am back to sleep in under 10 seconds. But still…having to wake up every morning because of that fucking bird? I’m going to shoot it one of these days…if I can find it.

God might make all the creatures of this earth, and they might all be special, but I want to fucking kill this bird.


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