Alright, so I have a few movie recommendations to NOT see.
#1: Knowing, starring Nicolas Cage. Well, starring is a little bit strong. He plays the main role; there is no starring in this movie. It is horrible. No, that’s not quite right. Horrible doesn’t quite sum it up. FUCKING SHIT-TASTIC HORRIBLENESS is more like it. What an absolute waste of our time. Like totally and completely.
It started out alright, but quickly went downhill. And to finish with aliens? ALIENS?!? And a new planet and a new Eden? Yeah no. That’s so not cool. So bad. Please don’t watch it.
#2: Year of the Dog, starring Molly Shannon. Billed as a comedy, it really doesn’t live up to that billing. It is a drama through and through. And sad at that. Sure it has its occasional funny moments, but it is a sad movie. So if you want to watch a depressing drama (with no happy ending), then feel free to watch it. But it is NOT a comedy.
#3: Miss March, starring a couple of nobodies. And what a nobody movie it is. It’s a movie with some nice boobies made for 13 year olds to get their rocks off. It’s full of poop humour and stupid jokes. The plot is nothing new, though the story is dumb as shit. We turned it off half-an-hour in and don’t really care how it ends.
So those are my movie reviews for this past weekend. Please don’t waste your time with them. And if you ever want to know about other shitty movies, feel free to let me know. Chances are I’ve seen it (or part of it).