parenting

Do you forget what life was like before kids?

Parents often talk about how they can’t remember what life was like before they have kids. They talk about having kids like they don’t know what they’d do without them.

When does that happen? When will I, as a parent, start to forget what life was like pre-Bean? When will I wonder what life would be like without him? Because right now, I am very much aware of what life would be like without him. I’m very aware of what life was like before him. I’m not saying it was better, but it was definitely different.

I can’t really compare the two lives, pre (pB), and Post-Bean (PB). pB, I could be as selfish as I wanted with my time, within reason, I did also have a wonderful wife to spend time with. pB, life was simple, uncomplicated. There wasn’t much to stress about. I had a great job, a great wife, we had recently moved halfway across the country, reduced our debtload in half and life was great.

PB, life is no longer simple and uncomplicated. I am now responsible for this helpless little being who has his own schedule. My life is no longer my own. I can no longer be selfish with my time, and things aren’t as simple as they used to be. But, there NOTHING, that rivals walking into his room after a nap and getting smiles. Or making faces at him and having him giggle and laugh. Nothing compares to the absolute joy I get each day knowing that I am a Dad. I am a dad to this super adorable little guy who makes every day better than the last.

My life pB and PB cannot be compared because they are not the same life. It would be like comparing apples and oranges. Both have their merits and drawbacks. I love my little dude more than life itself, but I still remember what life was like before him. I know what my life would be like right now if he hadn’t shown up 6 months ago. So yes, I’ve only been doing this 6 months, but I know parents with a baby similar in age and they talk like they don’t know life outside of parenting. So, when can I expect to forget life pB? I know somedays it would make life PB a whole lot easier. 🙂

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3 thoughts on “Do you forget what life was like before kids?

  1. I had a friend ask me once how expensive having a kid was. I could have said, ‘Dude. Remember those nights of staying up late playing XBox and then making love to your wife? Well, sell your XBox…’ But what I said was, ‘I can’t really tell you. I know I’ve given up things, but right now I can’t tell you what.’
    It’s not that you forget life before kids, but like you said, would you give up that smiling, laughing face for anything? And when they get older, they will shock and amaze you with how they view the world.
    Your job is simply to pay attention.
    You’re gonna love this ride. If you truly want to forget life pB, focus on today, trust me, nothing’s better than right now.

  2. 😀 most days I would say I don’t care what life was like post Kya. But on those stressful weeks where I have not had a break, I wish that I could forget what life was like before Kya. Also as much as I don’t want to be that person, I also am jealous of young couples w/o kids. Going on vacation, cruises. If we didn’t have Kya, we could probably afford those things too. But at the exact same time, I remember I wouldn’t have Kya then. And that fixes it.. At least till the next time.

  3. @Howefitz: I make focusing on the present a priority and it is amazing the positive spin it puts on my outlook.

    @Stef: It’s the watching friends around us going on vacations, cruises, buying new trucks, etc. that get to me, especially if it is a rough day. But then he smiles, or giggles, or pretty much just looks at me and instantly everything is perfect. 🙂

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